Break Babies

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I know many of you are probably tired of hearing about these celebrities who take short breaks to have children, but who knows, there might be another scandalous reveal waiting in the wings. Don’t get me wrong; I believe children are one of the greatest blessings we can ever experience and for this reason it really troubles me–no, annoys the living daylights out of me–to hear how such a blessing can be overshadowed by foolishness. I guess the Huxtable ideal was just for television.

As you have heard by now Miami Heat star Dwayne Wade and rapper-turned-actor Ludacris have found themselves in the hot seat over their, shall we say, seeds from their relationship breaks with their girlfriends. Heck, Gabrielle Union barely had that gorgeous ring on her finger before word hit the streets and media outlets that Wade fathered a child while the two took a short break. It also looks like Ludacris’ longtime flame Eudoxie found herself in the same boat as the proud papa to daughter Karma just welcomed another child before the holidays. I won’t even touch the topic of random unprotected sex (I hope everyone involved got checked), but as you guys are both pretty paid, wouldn’t it have been cheaper to buy a $5 box of condoms ? I’m just saying.

Thankfully, from what we know (keyword) about Luda and Wade, they are pretty solid when it comes to taking care of their own. If you follow both on Instagram you will see the love they have for their children which one can only hope will extend to their new additions. My only question is directed towards Gabrielle and Eudoxie that only D’Angelo could say best, “how does it feel?” At what point as women do we draw the line when it comes to what we will and will not tolerate in a relationship? And don’t give me that “there ain’t no good men” rant because that is not true. Half the time we are so memorized by the “bad boy” that we often overlook the “safe ones” in fear that we might get bored. Or there’s the fear that time is running out and don’t want to be apart of the statistic of black women who never marry.

Granted it really comes down to one’s personal convictions but it just blows my mind to see some ladies who look to have good sense tolerate certain behavior in the name of love. Even if you were on a break, where was the love or even respect for our relationship that lasted years not to father a child with another women that was a good time during your hiatus? Would this be considered sticking with true love, or selling yourself short to keep a man? At the end of the day both ladies knew well before we all did about their men’s children so it’s on them to take them back in attempts to work things out, or cast them to the side. Though what goes on in people’s sheets is really none of any of our business, it’s really hard not to put in your two cents as we all have that one girlfriend (sometimes more) that we want to shake for accepting a relationship that is too crazy and complicated to deal with. I’m not saying there is a perfect man who is unblemished and has no problems but good gracious think about the emotional effects things like this can have on a person, let alone the children involved down the road. Why wasn’t I good enough to have a child with and she was? Why were so you trusting to have a sex with someone without protection? As you can predict, the list of questions can go on and on.

I personally am tired of the whole “ride or die” mentality because sometimes that journey is just too damaging to the soul. That doesn’t mean I won’t go hard for my relationship, but that I have personal convictions to “ride” with someone who can meet me halfway – and becoming a parent to someone else’s child on a break just doesn’t meet the criteria (for me). But hey we are all different and know what works best for us. While I would personally not take a man back after that news, I can only pray that those who decide to do some serious soul-searching before they recommit. Ask yourself if you can truly find the forgiveness in your heart to accept your new reality and live a life without animosity and/or bitterness.

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